


Hunger Pains

by nonnie



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-07-10
Updated: 2011-07-10
Packaged: 2017-10-21 05:31:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 774
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/221466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nonnie/pseuds/nonnie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The thing is, there was never enough food when Sam was growing up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hunger Pains

The thing is, there was never enough food when Sam was growing up. His dad tried to keep them fed, he knows, but there was only so much you could bring with you on an eight hour drive, and that tended to be overprocessed crap that never really filled Sam up. Even when they stayed in one place for awhile, money was tight - and none of them could cook, nevermind be thrifty about it - so proper meals were few and far between.

When Sam hit his first growth spurt he became suddenly ravenous, capable of emptying their (sparsely filled) fridge in one sitting. Dean gave up some of his meals for Sam, he knows now, lied about one of his girls having bought him dinner, about being too tired to eat. One time, when John was gone on a hunt for a full week longer than expected, they ran out of food and money entirely. After about an hour of listening to Sam's stomach growl, Dean left without a word. Sam didn't hear him get home until three in the morning, and the fridge was full when Sam woke up. Dean made him pancakes for breakfast. It still makes Sam feel nauseous to think about what Dean could possibly have done for that money.

Sam's scholarship at Stanford includes residency and a meal plan, and Sam goes a little bit crazy. They pay by the meal - one swipe of his card at the entrace to the cafeteria gets him all he can eat in one sitting. Sam never stays for less than an hour, returning to the food stations over and over again for more servings. Sometimes he eats so much he starts to feel sick, but if he tries to leave before he's completely full he feels sick with guilt instead. Old instincts tell him this could be his last meal for awhile, that he shouldn't turn down free food when it's offered.

He eats mostly healthy. Unlike his dorm-mates, he stays away from the burgers, fries and milkshakes that remind him of diner food. He favours the salad bar, and especially the roasts, mashed potatoes and pastas served up by smiling, motherly women who quickly learn to give him extra-large portions. Eating makes him feel warm inside, and sometimes it feels like if Sam can squeeze in just one more mouthful it might fill up that aching hole in his chest. Sam eats good food, but he eats a lot of it.

Sam gains significantly more than the freshman fifteen. He doesn't really mind. He's tall enough that it spreads itself out on his frame, and he wears a lot of hoodies anyway. He doesn't have any close friends yet, so there's no one to notice his body changing, and it's not like he's trying to impress anyone. Sam's stomach goes soft and his cheekbones round out, but he sort of likes how it looks in the mirror. Like he's a new person.

That is, until he opens his dorm room door one morning, expecting that Brady has locked himself out again, and finds Dean instead. Shirtless and fresh out of the shower with only a towel wrapped around his waist, Sam's cheeks burn with sudden shame and he crosses his arms over his stomach defensively.

Dean, of course, looks and acts exactly the same. He runs his eyes up and down Sam's body, as if inspecting him from head to toe. Sam shifts nervously from foot to foot, wishing desperately for a shirt, or for the ground to open up and swallow him whole. He steels himself for teasing.

But when Dean speaks his voice is warm and ... satisfied, somehow. He reaches out and strokes two fingers quickly across Sam's fleshy belly, like making sure he's real. "Hey Sam," he says. "I just wanted to check in on you. Make sure college is treating you well."

"Yeah," Sam says, voice coming out higher than he wants it too, like he's still just a kid. "It is." His hands start shaking, and he squeezes them against his sides to make them stop.

"Good," Dean says gruffly. "That's good. You look real good, Sammy." They stand in silence for another moment before Dean turns to leave. "I don't want to mess things up or anything," he says over his shoulder. "I just wanted to see you." The sight of Dean's back, shoulders tight, makes Sam's eyes sting.

"Wait," he calls as Dean reaches the end of the hall. "Dean, wait! You want to go out, grab a burger or something?"

Dean's smile could light up a room. "Yeah," he says. "That'd be great."

**Author's Note:**

> http://spnanonhaven.livejournal.com/12996.html?thread=58682820


End file.
